Battle for attention

What does he say: “We don’t go out at all anymore!”

What she feels: She is nostalgic. She wants you to see her as a woman (but not as a “wife”), to tell her that she is beautiful (and to see in your eyes that you are not lying to her), to continue to treat her as carefully as at the beginning of the relationship…

Strategy: Surprise her at least once a month. Do something you know he likes, but doesn’t do it routinely. For example, if she likes trips, don’t take her to the same place for the millionth time. Instead of another week in the shopping centre, drive to a new destination and take a walk in nature (of course, not in winter), or relax somewhere in the countryside, or visit the zoo.

Result: That trip will count as foreplay. Really. Women adore such signs of attention that say you care. If you pay attention to it, especially in society, it will flourish.

Battle for children

What he says: “You don’t spend time with your own children.”

What she feels: She has a feeling that everything about the kids falls on her shoulders. If she is on maternity leave, she is with the child (or more of them) all day and she does not like it at all when you return from work, lie down in an armchair and take the remote in your hands. If you think she is OK because she is at home, while you, poor thing, are dying from stress at work – think again.

Strategy: She is tense, and in 15 minutes the review of the Champions League begins? Forget it! Not her – the Champions League… She won’t stop sounding for a simple reason – she’s really right. So, get to work, help around dinner, wash the dishes, bathe the kids together and only then sit in front of the TV. We know we sound just like her now, but remember your life is not just a job. You have a family. Hello?!

The result: A happy wife, kids who dearly love their father — and after the kids are picked up in rags — a review of the Champions League on Telly.

The battle over money

What does he say: “Yes, yes, you really needed a new cell phone?”

What he feels: He wants to say you are irresponsible. At least as far as finances are concerned. And if you don’t know with money, your credibility with her is dangerously melting. For women, safety is much more important than for us men – they want to be sure that we will be able to take care (both financially) of them and the children.

Strategy: Sit down and talk about your home budget. That way she will realize you care about her opinion, and at the same time, you will be able to explain the reasons why you need a new mobile, 4K TV, a better car… And use the conjunction “I” instead of “but” (“I know you are worried, and I want to explain to you why I bought that mobile. ”).

The result: You get that iPhone as soon as you put some money in the piggy bank for her new shoes. They don’t have to be Manolo Blahnik, but if you treat yourself, handle them both. And remember that in the middle of the month you get a bill from the card…

Battle for friends

What does he say: “Your friends are just morons!”

What he feels: Your reasoning skills are on the wallpaper. Do you act like a moron in the company of friends, um? Don’t jump right around her neck. She’s just worried you’re better off with them than with her. She’s somewhat right (NEVER admit it unless you think you’re going to end the relationship the same second), but reassures her that your friends are harmless.

Strategy: Invite her to one of your typical men’s evenings (Announce it to the team and put up with comments like “Slipper!”). She wants you to be proud of her.

Result: You will go out with your friends without her sounding. If she even imagined that during such evenings, girls would attack you just like that, she will realize this is not true after the third round of drinks – then stories from the army, memories of football visits and fishing stories from the bookmaker usually start. After that, it will no longer occur to her to go out with your friends – try to imagine yourself in the company of five girls who comment on the seasonal discount. Sounds interesting? We didn’t even think…

The battle for tenderness

What does he say: “Does everything have to be reduced to sex ?!”

What he feels: This has nothing to do with sex. She merely lacks tenderness, excitement, experimentation (Not necessarily with handcuffs and a whip!) – she misses everything abundant in your relationship in the beginning. Maybe sex has become pure mechanics, up-down, inside-out, turning the other way and “Good night”?

Strategy: The latest research shows that her pampering impulse is also a powerful aphrodisiac, so ask yourself how many impulses you paid into a joint sex bill – because the quality of your relationship depends on it. If you think that 30 seconds of massaging her shoulders necessarily leads to quick sex, you are wrong. Ask her out well if she is no longer absorbed in the connection. Presumably, it’s more caressing and attention, more listening… Put sex aside and don’t pretend to know what love and tenderness mean to her, especially don’t accuse her and don’t blame her for the little things from the bed… Just ask her: “What do you really want? Please tell me, because I want to give it to you. ” Listen – and follow the instructions.

Result: More sex. Obvious.