You will be unable to love if you have been unloved

People often wonder why their love does not go as they imagined, as they saw in movies or on the examples of their friends. And they often wonder why this is so. Here, we will try explaining to you why you do not know how to love: the answer is quite clear, and it will help you to change the current situation.

We do not know if any man can love if he has been unloved. Or — in other words — the more and with what strength we were loved in childhood, the more we will be able to love others.

The role of parents

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Parents who did not want a child or wanted one, but immediately after birth, for any tragic reason that could have come from outside or from the parents themselves, did not really accept or love this child, create (often without their will) conditions of pathological development the child.

Although it is rightly pointed out that the love of both parents is necessary for the proper mental growth of a child, many examples in life show that sometimes the love of only one parent (provided excessive and even sick kind of love for the child is avoided) is enough for the child. Don’t deprive yourself of a chance in the future to fall in love with someone.

Examples, examples…

Let’s just take as an example, not uncommon, that a child experience a sudden change in the mood of one of the parents in just one day. And let us mention he experiences the emotions of his parents extremely strongly, in which love and hate change at the speed of the changes of the spring sky. What is left for him then?

Nothing but that after experiencing this shift through fear, or developing himself further by reactively identifying with his parents, he gradually becomes like them, or becomes distrustful of any manifestation of love, whether it comes from the environment or as an impulse from his own soul.

Nothing but a personal example can be more efficient for children, and even then it takes much parental love, which alone gives birth to patience and endurance, waiting for the seed thrown into the ground to bear fruit.

This is the only way for a child to grow into a stable person!

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If a child, even when you are strict with him, feels love and if you ever hit him on the ass, there will be no consequences. If he does not feel love – there will be consequences. And parents know how to get angry… A child can grow into a stable person even if he is surely in the love of only one parent.

Some people speak clearly and loudly about their childhood, and say their father knew how to punish them, but only when they did something wrong. And seriously. The father was just. Be careful parents, do not punish a child if you do not determine he is really wrong.

A big problem, typical for parents, is the existence of a classic binary family couple. A strict, unyielding, often cruel father and a good, gentle, indulgent mother to whom fathers have been blaming for generations to develop pampering and disobedience by such behaviour towards the child. The worst is when the father beats the child, and then the mother hugs the child, caresses him, gives him chocolate… it’s called – Turkish showers. That’s ungood at all.