This is an eternal topic, a topic interpreted differently in different parts of the planet. But when everything is added up, a unique conclusion is reached. A true gentleman will never allow a lady to prepare a wallet or a credit card. Except? Except in exceptional cases. Well, let’s deal with these situations a little bit.

In male-female relationships, one question is often problematic: Who should pay the bill? Whether it is set at the end of a romantic dinner, after a quick drink in a cafe, or whether it is imposed when it needs to be cleared with serious living expenses.

The question is debatable, but it must not go unanswered. When something unresolved hovers in the air, it creates discomfort for both women and men.

The question of money is in most cases also a question of power, that is, the position that someone has concerned two people. In modern society, that patriarchal pattern, due to which men are expected to pay, has not completely disappeared.

Equality brought problems

It is interesting that women, on the one hand, seek the same rights as men, but do not accept the same obligations. It must be admitted that it is small and hypocritical. But, we have somehow learned about such situations, so it happens — not so rarely — that a man is uncomfortable if a lady insists that she wants to pay the bill. Be it in a cafe, restaurant, at a gas station… And not only when we are talking about couples in a relationship, but when a man and a woman are in the most genuine friendship.

These expectations create relationship problems

Payment should be a matter of agreement, not a rule for any relationship. There is no universal pattern. Who needs to pay the bill depends on the specifics of the connection. The rules only restrict and hinder both sexes from understanding what behaviour is best for their relationship.

According to the psychologist, despite the opinion that at least at that first meeting, a man should pay the bill, that obligation should not belong exclusively to men.

Whoever invited to the meeting, should also pay the bill. In fact, it is good for the dynamics of payment to change in one relationship, so that a woman pays once, and a man pays another time. Although there are girls who do not want to consider such a possibility. Moreover, with a man who expects them to pay the bill at least occasionally, they do not want to have absolutely anything.

Whose wallet should bear the costs, is a question that has interested many people. Between the two ends, full of equality or full obligation of a man, there are many interesting proposals.

They read as follows: A man must pay the bill at the first meeting or the cost ratio should be 60:40, to the “detriment” of men, America it is customary to share the costs after the fourth or fifth meeting, so it should be everywhere in the world. Do you?

Should women pay?

When women talk to each other about upcoming romantic dates, one of the first questions that arise is: Did he pay?

Many men still decide to pay at a meeting without any problems, but they want women to do the same sometimes. The ritual of taking women to a meeting and paying bills dates back to a time when men were earning more and when many of the jobs were not available to women.

With this gesture, the men also showed that they can take care of them in the future. However, now things are different – the ratio of employed men and women is almost equal, and 28 per cent of women earn more than men in the homes where both spouses work.

The study, which included 17,607 unmarried heterosexual men and women, found the following:

– 84 per cent of men and 58 per cent of women stated that men paid for most outings

– 39 per cent of women hoped that men would not ask them to share the bill

– 44% of women stated that they were irritated that men expect them to pay as well

– 44% of men stated that they would stop dating a woman who never pays at a meeting

– 64 per cent of men think that women should periodically take the bill, although as many as 76 per cent of them said they were a little ashamed of it

Research is also a fact that younger and educated people more often offer to share the bill.

Should a man always pay on the first date?

In these times, it is no longer known who should actually pay on the first date, and that is due to modern discussions about women’s equality, the difference in income between men and women, but also men’s manners.

On one hand, it always seems to us that it is the task of a man, that is, that he should be a gentleman and at least offer to pay, and on the other hand, fewer and fewer women agree to be honoured by someone.

Surveys conducted on 2,000 women aged 18 to 30 showed that most of them confirmed that they wanted to pay the bill. As many as 65 per cent of women said they were abandoning outdated Satanic rules.

74 per cent of them call their partner first, and experts in the field of psychology and relationships explain that women understand the financial pressure that a relationship puts on men, and they want to free them from those inconveniences. Notably, if they are in a good financial position and can afford and pay the bill.

What to do?

All in all, it is time for the man to offer to pay the bill. If the lady does not react, it means that she agrees with it and that there will be no problems in the future. If she insists that she settle the bill, or at least participates in its payment, it may not be bad to sit down, talk, present arguments and wishes for the upcoming period, and act accordingly.

It should not be forgotten that this problem is not the same on different meridians and that in certain territories it is assumed that it is the man who should pay the bills. Unconditionally!

On the other hand, in countries where gender equality has gained importance, we come to the problem of who should settle the bill. Well, that’s where we come to the need for an open conversation and an agreement on who, when and what pays. There is no point in proving your power with the ultimate demand that someone pay the bill or “parts” of their partner.

In most cases, the moments between entering the bar and paying the bill represent the moment when either partners or friends should enjoy the most. Therefore, don’t bother with formalities.