To clarify the characteristics and consequences of anxiety, we tried to clarify the four basics of the type of these people. We dealt with certain details and explained how each of them behaves in real life. So let’s go in order:
1) Concerned type (contributes to anxiety)
This guy worries about everything. He is always alert, observes even the smallest symptoms, reads between the lines, reads other people’s thoughts and always comes to the worst possible conclusion. This care can be manifested predominantly in one area of life, such as health or love, but it can also be manifested in all areas of life equally.
Example 1: A person who is a worrying type and predominantly cares about health will study even the smallest possible symptom, Google, change 10 doctors, and when he hears everything is fine, he will still not be sure that everything is fine. Paradoxically, she really feels as if something is wrong with her health – she feels weak, weak in the whole body, fatigue, chest pain, and, essentially, all those symptoms are actually caused by excessive care and focus on the symptoms.
Example 2: A person who predominantly cares about love, i.e., has a fear of leaving, will look for the slightest indication that someone is “cooling off” and leaving the relationship. She will become overwhelmed by this relationship to the extent that she will really suffocate her partner with her worries, and in the end, the partner really leaves even though it was not in his plan. A self-fulfilling prophecy is happening— “Well, I knew it would be like that in the end.” A person is convinced he or she always finds partners who leave when in fact the problem is in him or her.
2) Critic (contributes to low self-esteem and self-esteem)
A critic is a part of us that constantly judges and evaluates our behaviour. He is constantly thinking about whether something has been done well enough, whether we are capable, skilled, smart enough for something, whether we have said something correctly, whether we have not introduced anyone. If this analysis of behaviour and words becomes excessive, this is a great basis for social anxiety because what we do to ourselves we think that others do to us, that everyone evaluates and studies us while the reality (especially today) is completely different – everyone sees only himself. You are constantly cramping for no reason.
The critic points out his flaws and limitations whenever possible.
When we talk about anxiety, your inner critic is the one who belittles you because you don’t deal with panic symptoms the way he expects, convinces you that everyone else is relaxed, only you panic, belittles you for not functioning to your full potential and what you need other people to feel safe.
You tend to neglect all your good features while putting flaws under the microscope and only seeing them.
Example: A person is preparing for an exam but is not doing well. The critic moves: you are incapable of preparing for the exam. You see that you cannot concentrate. What are you even trying to do? Everyone has always been better than you. Why are you always like that? Watch Mara take exams, travel, hang out until you can’t remember the sentence!
Also check: A better life
Anxiety increases, concentration is worse, the belief that it is not good enough and that everyone is better than it is stronger, anxiety grows, even more, self-confidence, which was shaky at the beginning, decreases, even more, a person promises himself to do some duties but still don’t do it because of the stress that goes wild because the voice of the inner critic does not stop talking, the person loses self-esteem and there is a vicious circle.
3) Victim (contributes to depression)
If you feel that this is your problem, the first thing you need to work on is changing your beliefs. When people of this type have anxiety, they are convinced that their condition is incurable and that whatever they do will not have results. They rely on drugs mainly because it is something outside of them, they think that only with their work they cannot change anything. On the psychological side, it is not easy to work with such clients because they say “YES, BUT…” for every solution. What is behind the “yes, but” is a belief that they do not want to let go and an excuse why it could not be better for them.
A man of this type has a strong sense of worthlessness that permeates all areas of life. He always sees insurmountable obstacles, he constantly complains, there is always a bad or depressed mood, but he rarely takes action because he does not believe that anything could change.
Examples: “I don’t want to go to a psychologist. I don’t want to talk to anyone because there is no help for me. The whole life is like this, and it will be like that forever.
“I’ll never be able to do that, why try at all?”
“If I had done something about it ten years ago, it might have been different. It’s too late now.”
“I tried everything. Nothing worked”
AS LONG AS YOU ARE ALIVE, YOU CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING THAT DOES NOT SUIT YOU.
Only when you believe you can, then there is a chance to make real changes.
4) Perfectionist (contributes to chronic stress, exhaustion, anxiety)
It is NEVER good enough. Even when you do something perfectly, there is the next item that you see that is not perfect and you try to be perfect. Imagine a hamster running to the point – it’s a perfectionist. He never reaches his destination (perfection), but in the meantime, he spends his energy and nerves and time. It’s okay to pursue big goals. It’s just fine. It’s not okay for your human value to be based on whether you’re doing everything perfectly or not!
You don’t always have to be perfect, perfectly correct, perfectly fine, with a perfect haircut, the perfect weight, a perfectly arranged home, perfectly prepared food, perfect at work, a perfect friend, partner, mother, father, sister, brother.
I’m tired of just writing these many fields where you can demand perfectionism from yourself.
Think about WHY you are a perfectionist.
Is that just your way and protect yourself from possible criticism? Do you think there will be no criticism if everything is perfect?
Was that the only way you were acceptable to your parents?
Did you only have their attention then?
Did you only come to love perfection?
Think about what it is and take that burden off your back. You can strive for great goals without perfectionism.
Perfectionism actually only hinders you, restrains you, blocks you from starting new things because “it’s never good enough”.
Also check: Never good enough
Perfectionists have a BIG problem accepting that they have anxiety because “How can I have anxiety, it must not happen to me?!” It directly distorts their image of perfection. It is inadmissible for them to feel that way, and they persistently run away from anxiety.
When the more you run away, the more she chases you.
Because it’s time for a change, not an escape.
Conclusion:
All this is POSSIBLE to change. That is why psychologists and psychotherapists serve you. No one was born a scientist unless he or she was lucky enough to have very conscious parents, which is a rarity!
It is up to you to change these things and stop blaming your parents if they made mistakes somewhere.