Has your partner ever asked you, “Darling, what are you thinking about now?” She probably was. And did she ever do that during sexual intercourse? Certainly not.

Because, it’s pretty obvious what we men think about in the bedroom — or anywhere else — when we find ourselves near a woman’s body. And we simply assume that the same goes for our partners – because, for God’s sake, what else would she think about but how good she is with you? However, the latest research and experiences of some men who have thought of asking their girlfriends, wives and mistresses a seemingly unnecessary question: “Honey, what are you thinking about?” show differently.

The truth?

The (un) lucky ones whose partners were painfully honest told us where their thoughts really wandered while we are in sexual ecstasy. When it comes to starting a relationship, girls are usually obsessed with whether they are physically attracted to us or whether they see cellulite, stretch marks or something fifth. In those moments, they usually think about which pose would be best to take and how to move so that everything would turn out “properly.”

When it comes to longer relationships, the thoughts and expectations that precede sexual intercourse itself often differ from those during intercourse. Since, as the relationship progresses, the passions calm down, instead of thinking about sex, women can think more and more often about how to avoid it. But, the opposite problem can also occur — if your partner is still very much in love with you, she can idealize you in her thoughts, as well as the sex you give her — in which case it will be difficult for you if you betray her fantasies.

So how can the most ordinary man, who thinks only about sex during sex, even guess what he should do? Fortunately, there is the Internet, as well as thousands and thousands of anonymous ladies on forums, blogs and Facebook who are willing to share their experiences with us unfortunates. Here are the things we need to remember before our brain goes off.

Too long foreplay

This is one of the most common complaints of Internet users. You think: how now – too long? Don’t we listen for decades to the lamentations of women who complain about “you come in — you come out — it’s over”? Don’t women, as usual, know what they really want?

According to extensive research, men who suffer from this habit are divided into two groups: those who have a problem with premature ejaculation and those who are afraid of having a problem with premature ejaculation because they saw in porn that every real man must endure at least 45 minutes. If you belong to the first group, and if counting all the selectors of the national football team from 1920 until today does not help your premature ejaculation, go ahead.

Try to perfect the technique of all variations of foreplay, try not to always be the same (because she will get bored), ask her what she likes and what she doesn’t. Make sure it is on the verge of the climax when you are ready to “take off.” If, on the other hand, you are a victim of the Palm night program from the late nineties, know one thing – most women live in the real world and really do not want to spend an hour and twenty minutes in bed with you while you diligently follow all the tips you picked up from some of her magazines.

If you can “take” between seven and 14 minutes, and if you do it right, most women will really have enough. Add to that a few minutes of foreplay, just to warm up, and your partner will come out of the bedroom convinced that you are a really good lover.

Insisting

What? Insisting she also reach the climax is the second thing that most often cools women. Most of us think that her orgasm is a certificate of our sexual readiness. And most of us are right. But you can also be sure that no woman experiences an orgasm in 100 per cent of cases.

Also, many things (though not all) depend on themselves and on how much they know their own body, how relaxed they are and even how much self-confidence they have at that moment. This doesn’t mean you have to stop trying – but you don’t have to keep asking her, “How was it?”, “Are you done?” or, God forbid: “I have to now, come on, you too.”

Absolute ignorance

Not knowing her body is the third, and perhaps the biggest mistake you can make in bed. My interlocutors were even in situations where some of their partners, so to speak, “knocked on the wrong door.”If you belong to a group of men who, for one reason or another, have similar problems with geography, the only thing we can tell you is to start with a book (For a book we do not mean porn magazines.), and then check the acquired knowledge and in practice.

Don’t think you know everything because if you secretly eavesdrop on any female conversation you will realize you don’t really know much. Here are some simple guidelines we can give you at a glance: the clitoris is important, but not the most important. Do not neglect the neck and ears. Kiss her in the groin or behind the knees. Gently grab her by the hair. Tickle her upper arm. After all, share a bottle of wine and ask her what she would like.

The possibilities are truly endless. Because, if for any reason, your partner’s sex with you is not arousal, her brain will work as usual. The misconception is that if you are wrong, she will imagine someone else in your place – because in that case, in her fantasies, the other one will be just as bad.

Moreover, don’t be angry with your sweetheart if, during the greatest excitement, she screams another name that is not yours (as long as it is not your godfather or best friend) – because that most likely means that you have realized some of her secret fantasies. If her brain stays awake and she starts making shopping lists or planning a vacation while she is in bed with you – then you should worry, because, sooner or later, she will decide to at least try to realize her fantasies with someone else