You were tempted and knelt down – so what now? You have returned to the embrace of a loved one, and your conscience bites.
You think that this is a mistake that will never happen again, and you criticise yourself for what happened in the first place. What to do next?
Living in the hope that the worries of conscience will fade over time or simply admit everything?
A guilty conscience does not give you peace and you cannot sleep at night. Every time you look at a loved one. You feel like you have betrayed her and all you want is to admit it, tell it all and keep it all behind you? But will it really stay behind?
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Regardless of when you did it, whether it was yesterday or eight months ago – your partner has fresh news. Although you are honest at the moment and do not want to live like a liar, it is a great disappointment for your partner, and a loss of trust is very possible.
On the other hand, of course, it is better, to be honest. Even many cheated partners claimed that it is much more painful when they find out about the affair from a third-person than from the one they are married to.
Again, the outcome you are hoping for is not guaranteed. So there are a few things you should consider before deciding whether to bring everything to light or not.
When you need to admit
Of course, you should admit if it can cause a health problem in your partner. Sexually transmitted diseases are not a joke and you should definitely not leave your partner in doubt as to what happened to them.
If the person you cheated on remained pregnant, it is only fair that you admit it to your spouse. Imagine that your partner with someone there has a child you don’t even know about. That would not be pleasant to anyone.
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Keep your mouth shut!
Although it seems ethically more acceptable to admit, sometimes the truth would only hurt all participants, which would not make sense.
Just because you’ve cheated, once don’t mean you’ll cheat again. If you are really sure that this is an isolated incident, a moment of weakness and that it will really never happen again, there is no doubt.
Ask yourself questions: have you used protection? Is exclusive remorse all you feel about the incident? Maybe you should keep your mouth shut.
As if the affair happened a long time ago, in another city and with a person who has nothing to do with your partner – then why reveal, if you are only going to harm your current relationship?
If it happened when you were just starting to see each other, and the relationship wasn’t serious yet, either forget it ever happened or admit it right away.
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Why do you want to be recognised?
This is the key and most important question – why do you want to admit that you had an affair? Is it a sincere desire, how could you work together on a problem where you risk having to re-create a relationship of trust with your partner?
Or you just want to get rid of the burden, interpreted as selfish. Why? Because you made your soul easier by confessing, but you burdened your partner’s soul.
They are now left alone with their sadness, thoughts and reflections on the future of their relationship.
If guilt is the only reason, you want to admit it, then maybe it’s better not to do it.
A one-night stand or a new love
If you’ve had an affair one night, where you’ve succumbed to a challenge and indulged in passions, and you’re sure it won’t happen again, ask yourself why you admit it.
For yourself or for your partner? Although you are sure that it will not happen again, your partner will lose confidence in you with your confession.
And if you have had a long-term relationship outside of your marriage, where emotions have also developed, there are likely much more serious problems in your marriage.
By acknowledging, you may both solve these troubles and decide that you have something to fight for.
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Not everything goes according to plan
By acknowledging, you may want to mend your relationship and continue working on the relationship, but this may not be the case with your partner.
Be ready to endure your partner’s anger, sadness, and answer all the questions asked – carefully, there is no need to hurt another.
If you stay together, who knows when and if that relationship will ever return to normal. Be prepared to kiss the door and be left without a loved one after the confession.
If you are really aware of all the risks, you are thinking about it for a few days and always have the same thought in your head, whether you admit it or bury it deep inside – do it.