Are you aware of how many singles live on this planet? You assume that they are individuals, people with special needs, voters, shy people who do not dare to approach someone… At any rate, there are many of them. And most of them are afraid that they will be left alone forever. Therefore in the present climate, we are addressing the topic of how to survive independently, without a partner. Yes, and it is possible. But let’s not confuse loneliness – it is a state of mind and consciousness, a state in which we have the feeling that we have absolutely no one in our midst, no one who understands us and with whom we can have any interaction. Being alone means not having a partner.
How to be happy in such a situation?
Periods of solitude are given to you for some reason. All of us on the planet live in a climate where the seasons change, so we have beautiful and less beautiful periods. And each of these periods has some reasons to exist. Therefore, when we talk about your loneliness and the reason for its existence, why you should be alone in certain periods, you should know that this is the period in which you need to achieve the greatest growth of your own, use your greatest potential.
What is it about?
Merely put, you have “excess” time just for yourself. If you were with a partner, you would spend a good part of that time with him, which is absolutely normal and natural. Partners require some commitment if nothing else – typing and texting.
We emphasize that the need and desire are to hang out with someone, go to various events, restaurants, cuddle and love… all this is normal and necessary. But in moments when you don’t have a partner, you have time for yourself. Use it wisely and usefully.
How to use the excess time?
A period of solitude. We can call it that. What choices do you have at your disposal? One of them — the most commonly used — is self-pity in solitude. Then you spend time thinking about how you are alone, how you have no one, how you would like to find a soul mate and the like. However, why not tell yourself that in fact that time was given only to you and that in it you can achieve everything you never had time for to grow as a person and develop qualities that you did not have until that moment?
In a period of loneliness, while you have nothing that can disturb you, you can come up with something that you have not done before and maybe you should do exactly what you would like? For example, why not go to the gym? You could start acquiring a foreign language that you liked from childhood, but you never had time for that before. Why not read books or do anything else that makes you happy and makes you a better person.
What about it?
All this we have stated is not a waste of time. It is the things you do while you are alone, the time spent in raising the quality of your own personality, that will ultimately lead you to a new partner. But how? Very simple. If you take a foreign language course today or anything else, it will put you in the same room with people who want to do the same things as you. After that, will the knowledge you have acquired enable you to chat with people in that language, in that particular country, or to chat with them online? This will open a chance for you to meet new people, new spaces, new states… And maybe there is a person who is just waiting for you, who is destined for you.
Or, if you start exercising and go to the gym regularly, you will meet people who think the same way as you, do the same as you, so they are almost completely compatible with you. At this place, once more, you talk to people like you. And it also opens up the possibility of encountering someone who could be your potential partner. All of the above opens up a new perspective, even if you are incredibly introverted if the sole thing important in your life is to go to work, then go to groceries regularly, go home, cook dinner, sit down in front of a PC, search, follow your favourite social networks and similarly.
What is the benefit of that?
Even in such situations, there is a decent chance that you have followed some tutorials, read an online book, been on online dating, all of which give you the opportunity for personal growth and communication with more people. You become a more fascinating person, and thus your chances to reach someone new online, someone who could become your emotional partner, increase. So, loneliness should be experienced extremely positively. It is not a problem to be alone. It is a problem to be afraid to be alone. What you need to get rid of is the fear of loneliness, not loneliness. Loneliness can bring you things you could not even dream of. And it is fear that leads you in the wrong direction.
What does fear bring?
When you are afraid that you will be left alone, then you will agree to anything. And you certainly know some people who can’t be alone, so they accept any kind of relationship, the kind you would never agree to. And don’t envy such people and say “well for him, he or she has someone and I have no one”! Ask yourself if you would be in such a relationship. Probably not, but these people “condemned” themselves to a poor relationship only for fear of not being alone.
This is an additional illustration of the fact that you need to get rid of fear. Fear drags you to places where you will feel worse and more miserable, to the very bottom. Fear will lead you into bad relationships. By no means do I want to convey that I recommend for the mothers to be inactive?
What in the end?
Be aware that you will not be left alone. Don’t worry about it – unless you set it as your life goal, stay alone, and consciously sabotage all potential quality relationships. Namely, it is statistically impossible to be alone. All you need to do to not be left alone is to physically expose yourself to other people. Exactly what we mentioned at the beginning. Even Online Dating is a kind of exposing yourself to the public, a public where there is certainly someone who will like you and who you will like, too. Someone with whom you can really make emotional contact.
So, get out of the personal comfort zone. The time of loneliness that you have used for personal growth will give you the courage to expose yourself to the views and assessments of other people. It’s all a kind of spiral. The more you expose yourself, the more you will hang out with people, the higher the chances that you will meet a person who suits you, and among those, you are guaranteed someone who is a great candidate for the perfect emotional partner. So, grow and use every moment in your life. In the most decent way possible in life, for sure. Solitude is good and makes the most of it. Do not spend hours, and boldly embark on new knowledge, conquests, leave self-pity behind, far behind. Some would say there is nothing to think about. And they would be right! Don’t think too much, but work on yourself and show yourself to other people.