Have you ever experienced being left with a broken heart? Naturally, unless you are therefore opposed by everyone else that you have never fallen in love and been abandoned in your life. Of course, each of us would like to avoid such moments and never get hurt.
At this place, we will now mention a few things you are required to perform at the beginning of each new relationship, and it can be of great benefit to you. So let’s go, without any special order.
What to do at the start?
During the first months of seeing someone, at the minimum two or three, by no means consider that period to be a relationship, so act accordingly. If you behave in this way, it can spare you unnecessary suffering, because sudden breaks in the “connection” happen during this period. Even though these relations lasted for a short time, they were extremely intense, so any break in that period can be very painful. And it hurts for several reasons.
Who are you, actually?
The first reason could be that you have been seeking a specific person for a very long time. And as you searched for it, you realized that most people probably don’t suit you. Some are boring to you, some are not sexy, some are not interesting, some do not meet your intellectual requirements… The search, therefore, took a very long time, and when you finally came across a person you think could be a potentially good emotional partner, and that person leaves you for whatever reason, it really has to hurt a lot.
The role of physiology
The next reason is purely physiological in nature. And those are – hormones! Since we have finally found the “right” person for ourselves, the hormonal status changes. And these are all those hormones that allow us to feel happy and in love, but also to bond with people. When hormones reach their natural level over time, all that magic simply disappears and we begin to be aware of the reality of life and the situation we are in, and it does not suit us.
Is this really me?
The third reason is that at the beginning of the relationship, in those two to three months, we all try to present ourselves as the best version of ourselves. This is what your potential partner does. Then when that person, your partner, departs from your life, she leaves a completely distorted and unrealistic image of herself. In your consciousness she is a person who does not have a single flaw, she is simply perfect. And that’s only because you didn’t have enough time to see its bad features and all the flaws, which you would surely catch if you managed to get that information. In that case, the question arises whether you would even get in touch with such a person.
So, those first moments of the relationship should by no means be fully believed, and everything you see, hear or feel should be given special attention in terms of questioning the truth of it all. Maybe it’s all just one big hoax that can cost you a broken heart. This period should be used to get to know the potential partner as well as possible, and nothing more than that. Naturally, for fun, whatever that means, because through fun you will learn a lot more that you secretly want to know. Let’s be clear to the end – entertaining yourself, not the person across from you.
Making the best possible image of yourself
This segment can be compared to reality show programs. Each of the participants, when they enter the studio, that is, the space in which they will spend some time, behaves quite correctly, almost perfectly. Everything works the way everyone could only wish. But as time goes on, the masks fall off. People show their most hidden secrets and bad qualities, which an enclosed space (or alcohol) only emphasizes. The same, or at least very similar to this, happens in real life.
People initially try to keep a partner at all costs. For any reason. As time passes and circumstances change, various demons begin to emerge from people, more precisely their right “I.” It is these two to three months that will allow you to go through various situations with these people, through whom you will learn a lot that you were not able to notice at the very beginning of the relationship. Whether you like it or not depends on what happens later.
Is this a rule?
Let’s be clear – all this does not mean that you will always run into someone who does not suit you or who will break your heart. But it is enough for it to happen only once! And that’s too much. That is why we are talking about all this, to prevent you from hurting yourself and losing trust not only in the opposite sex but also in the entire human race. And that’s not good for your mental health.
So, it is always good to find out the worst things as soon as possible – it will hurt less. If you discover some traits that you don’t like, it will be much easier for you to get out of such a situation and look for something that suits you – almost completely.
In addition to this, during this period, you will also discover what a particular person expects from you and how they will treat you in the future. If you observe that person carefully during the “trial period,” you will be told everything, you will find out everything. No one can keep secret for so long what they really want and expect from you. And through an adequate series of questions, through bringing that person into certain situations, you can conclude how he will treat you in the future.
What if that person turns out to be completely different from the one you saw when you met her. Whether these are positive or negative situations, it is good to know what to expect. Good or bad, it doesn’t matter. You must know.
The following thing you will get if you “break” at the very beginning, is that you will communicate your standards. Maybe you have high standards that you don’t want to deviate from, maybe you don’t want sex before marriage, maybe you want your partner to treat you in a certain way or keep you very high on a pedestal. This is the right time to show your potential partner how they want to treat and observe you.
But, by the nature of things, people are afraid to show at the very beginning what they really are and what they really want. Such people are afraid to demand their rights, to clearly communicate what they really want. And why? Just because they think that person is exactly what they have been seeking all their lives. So, they place too much hope in that relationship, they throw all the cards at that particular person. And finally – it can hurt. And it hurts to pretend and show yourself the way you really are. In a positive or negative attitude.
It hurts you that you didn’t have enough fun, that you spent your time that you could have used in a far better way, whether you were left behind, whether you were hurt by vanity… He knows a lot that hurts. Therefore, if you do not attach too much importance to those first days of the relationship, even if a breakup occurs, it will not be so difficult for you. At least you had a good time, met some new people, situations and the like.
What is the profit?
But you will profit in another interesting way. If you do not have expectations from that particular person, it will be felt. You will have an aura of unexpectedness around you, and that is very unusual in modern times. Especially if it is a person interesting to everyone if it is desirable to other people… If you are slightly uninterested, just because you do not expect anything, you will intrigue that person – he will say or think if everyone is chasing me, what about you? Why are you so indifferent? And then she will have to invest in that relationship to keep you and win you over.
When people work around someone, then that person becomes precious. Rewind the movie in your head, and it will become clear to you. Undoubtedly, you have already experienced such situations, but you were not aware of them. So, let that person make an effort, to show who he is and what he is, how he behaves, to show his true face in every situation, what he wants from you… let him work around your relationship, and in that way, you will find out everything that interests you.
The potential partner should be made aware that those first two or three months are just dating, not a relationship. If you like someone, you will give them thousands of opportunities. You will do everything just to keep that relationship going. It’s the same with other people if they like you. May all this save you a broken heart!