No matter what kind of life people lead, when they get married, how they organize their life with a partner, for many reasons they happen to be left alone in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s or later. More precisely, without love and partner.
Let’s be realistic. It is not easy to find a new love or a new partner in mature years, and for several reasons. First of all, the “offer” is not as big as when you are 20 years old and you can choose. Many people in those years already have stable relationships and families. Furthermore, the standards of older people are often unrealistically high, which is why it is difficult to find a life partner. So what to do in such cases?
A detail that should encourage everyone, regardless of the number of years, is that there is no obstacle to finding new love. Anyone, but literally anyone, can reach a new partner, only if they adhere to certain rules.
Don’t think that something is wrong with you
We start again from the number of years. Put them aside, because they are not, will not and must not be a problem. The fact that you are alone in some mature years is not a sign that you or the person you have “cast an eye” on is out of the standard and that something is wrong with you. People may think, they were married, and now they are no more – regardless of whether they are divorced or their partner has passed away. Is everything okay with them? Or, they arrived in some years and never even thought of marriage, so they suddenly found themselves in a situation where they had no one. Is everything okay with them? Of course, it is.
You simply didn’t find the right person. You weren’t aware of how fast time passes, you lived together but you weren’t married so you broke up (mostly because of stupidity) or anything else. That’s not a problem either.
Don’t worry about failed relationships and marriages
Never think of them as positive or negative. You need to be aware that this can only harm you in later life and looking for a new partner. Does that mean you can’t do anything anymore? Of course, that is not true. You can do everything – the only condition is that you want everything that is left behind to remain there. Don’t bring old problems and emotions into new relationships.
The easiest way to get rid of the clutter of old relationships is to never talk to anyone about it. Especially not with someone with whom you want to establish a new relationship.
Know exactly what you are looking for and what you want
Next, keep in mind how old you are. That means you are more mature than you were a decade, two decades or three decades ago. Or at least that’s how it should be? Apart from the fact that it is necessary to know what you want, it is very important to know what you do not want. Then you pay attention to it, ask for it and demand it from a potential partner. But, in that case, it would be expected, it is desirable not to say obligatory, to offer the same on your part.
To conclude, you have to listen to the other side, its wishes and expectations, and then decide whether you are for it or not, whether you fit in or not, whether there is a chance to establish a quality relationship or is it just another one in a series of fleeting adventures. This is exactly the question you need to think about!
Don’t indulge in sex
If everything you think about is a sex adventure, then we have nothing more to talk about. The point of this story is how to find a life partner in old age. There are always other solutions for emotion-free sex. So, if you need a partner, by no means indulge in sex and any kind of adventure.
Even though you are both adults and you are most likely aware of what you want and what you don’t, don’t go to bed. First, set the rules of the game. To know exactly who you are, what you are, what you want from each other, what you can offer to each other (we are not talking about material goods here), and so on.
Don’t be too picky
Why is this so significant? In the first place, as you get older, the “offer” is more modest, so it is simply necessary to lower the criteria about the person of the opposite sex, his physical attributes, appearance, fitness, sexual desire… What you can do in your 20s does not mean you can do (or look) at age 70 or older.
All this does not mean that you should grab the first opportunity you come across, thinking that you will not come across it after that. That is simply not true. If that person is not what you really want, then you don’t need it. But if it is the person who fulfils most of your requirements, then it can really be your future life companion. Don’t let physical appearance create your future life.
Lower your guard and let people approach you
Simply put – open up! Why do we emphasize this? Very simple: people who have failed marriages or relationships behind them are generally suspicious and do not allow (very likely quality people) to approach them and offer what they can. After the failure in love and relationships, you have inevitably become more careful, more careful, so why not say timider? You may be afraid of experiencing an emotional breakdown again. But you won’t achieve much that way. As we have already said, the past is the past. You are moving into a new life and do not let some old events drag you to the wrong side.
Can someone hurt you again? Surely! But what if the more likely scenario happens – love? Are you ready to be left without what you really need and belong to because you do not allow anyone to approach you? Of course not!
Relax and have fun
This is an especially difficult item for people over the age of 50. My people – flirt, have fun, feel like you’re 20 again! No matter how pointless it sounded. But only in your heads! The man should and must enjoy as long as he lives. What can you lose if you allow yourself to live? Absolutely nothing. You can only win and become dear and nice to the people around you.
Talk openly and freely
You are mature people. There is no need for hiding and excuses. Whatever is on your mind, feel free to say it and talk about it with a potential partner. Demand the same from him. Present yourself in the most realistic light possible, with all the positive and negative aspects. However, be careful not to brag about it. Don’t pretend and make yourself a superhero who isn’t. Leave it to the youth, who can’t impose themselves on their partner in any other way. Use all your life experience and knowledge.
Self-confidence and self-love
When you present yourself as you really are, in your splendour or misery, it can attract people. Many of them! And then you have a bigger choice. Show that you are a person who has self-confidence, who can be a pillar and support for others, who can love others. At that time these people can see that you know who you are and what you are, so they gain more trust in you. Because, your potential partner, in the years he is, must know who he is with and what that person is like, what he can expect from him. So, a potential partner needs the same as you – a stable person who does not wander. Not emotionally, not in thoughts, not in any other way.
Be what you are
If you have mastered the previous paragraph, understood it completely and agreed with the views, then it will not be difficult for you to be what you really are. In short – don’t act. You have neither the time nor the need for that. Just like your potential partner doesn’t. It can merely cause new problems for you and lead to the collapse of something that has good potential to be what you really want.
Don’t waste time with those who don’t suit you
The most important thing is not to be with someone at any cost, just not to be alone. Don’t waste time with those who don’t suit you. Why? Because the time you spend with such people will not be good. As soon as you notice that the whole story is going in that direction, it is better to end such a relationship as soon as possible, a relationship that has no future. For serious people, a relationship at any cost makes no sense and no future.
In your younger years, you can allow yourself the luxury of being with someone out of pure whim, spite, curiosity… In serious years, it’s just a waste of time and nerves. More serious years require more serious ones, we can freely say a deeper and more spiritual relationship between two people who understand each other and who are nice when they are together, even if they are silent.
Don’t worry about your physical appearance
People are often troubled about their aesthetic appearance: they are bothered by wrinkles, grey hair, more relaxed muscles, a few extra pounds… Be what you are, and be proud of your appearance. But to find someone who will fill the void in your life, you have to do one thing at all costs. And she is very simple!
Get out of the house
You can’t expect any romantic relationship or a new partner to enter your life just like that, unprovoked if you don’t show a minimum of initiative yourself. And that is to get out of the personal comfort zone – your home. Watching television and listening to the music of your youth will not bring you a new love. Turn around, at least with the help of the Internet and dating sites. Give everyone a chance.
But are you likely to ask for more details about how to get started? For starters, make a list of the places you can go out. Or a list of sites you can visit. And to know. It doesn’t have to be cafes and restaurants. Galleries, theatres, various performances and celebrations can be quite adequate places to meet a person who can change your life. From the root! Start going out so people can see you. You will inevitably meet someone who suits you somewhere.
But, when choosing a place to go out, choose the ones where people like you gather. Certainly, in places where people gather who don’t listen to the music you love, there are no events you don’t like, no food you don’t like, you can’t even expect to find someone compatible with your requirements.
Online dating
Many people prevent this way of acquiring a new partner. The reasons are various, but it all comes down to shame and the question “what will others say”? This is the modern age, and we should act accordingly. So, online dating is completely normal and legitimate, it is a place where you can find what you really want. The choice is great, maybe even bigger than in the real world.
Don’t be misled that dating sites only have losers, sufferers, fake profiles… No! These are real people, just like you are and you have the same problems as you have. And just like you, they are trying to find an adequate partner. And yes – distinguish dating sites from those intended for escorts. These are two completely different worlds, so you are also expected to behave adequately on dating sites.
The most important thing is to present yourself on the dating sites as you really are and to make your profile as attractive as possible. So, the cover photo of a gentleman in a suit with a tie will attract far more attention from ladies than those who are with grandchildren, pets or naked. The same goes for ladies. A neat lady seems more serious than a debauched woman. Let’s not misunderstand: whatever profile you create, you will attract such potential partners. The only question is what do you want and how would you present yourself? Therefore, fill in all the fields that you can or are available to you.
Start searching
Finally, one indisputable fact should be mentioned. If you crawl into your own cave, no one will even know that you are looking for a partner. Get out of the cave and make it clear to everyone that you are available to all potential partners. You can’t wait for love. This is equated with people’s desire to “get a job.”Jobs are sought, they are not obtained. Even if it was on the recommendation of other people. There is nothing to wait for.
And, yes, be sure to find what you need – provided you follow these few rules we have prepared for you. If you have come to this part of the text, it is for you. If you are not, it means that you have your life partner and that loneliness does not bother you. Do your best, and the effort will pay off. Sooner or later, it doesn’t matter. Understand that your life has not stopped because you have been left alone in certain years. On the contrary! You were given the opportunity for a new beginning, a new life, probably better than the one you led until the moment you were left alone.
Just because you’re a little older doesn’t mean you’re no longer alive and you don’t deserve to live like everyone else. When does the romance end? Then when do you want it? In 80, 90 or 100 years? No, it lasts as long as you are alive, because every living person deserves romance and everything it brings with it. Never think that seeking a new partner is immoral! On the contrary. If nothing else, find a person with whom you can grow old happy.