Well-known psychotherapists reveal the secret of where to look for a husband, why you cannot and must not adapt to him, and what is the danger of a man who cannot live without you.
Joy or disaster?
In recent times, marriages seem like a social catastrophe: the number of divorces has almost equalled the number of marriages, if not even surpassed. According to psychologists, this happens because people get married for many funny reasons, and the smallest number of them want to get married to start a family.
Well-known psychotherapists talk about who can start a happy family, and who will surely end up with a lawyer signing divorce papers.
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What does science say?
“There are very few happy families. But there are very few of them, not enough. Out of 11,000 families, only three were happy. But most importantly, only happy families are normal, the rest is pathology – a community of two unhappy people.
Why are there so many divorces? Don’t they know how to choose a partner?
This is because people are poorly educated. They are not taught to think, they are not taught to choose a husband or wife. We conducted a survey – which declaration of love will you like more? The following options are suggested:
“I can not live without you!”;
“I will never hurt you!”;
“Let’s spend our lives together!”.
As many as 75 per cent of women chose the sentence: “I can’t live without you!”, But no one liked the sentence “Let’s spend our lives together!”
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What is love?
Love is when you are actively interested in the life and development of the person you love. Everyone says: well, I don’t have time to love! But do you know how to love? Our marriages are basically bullshit: “I can’t live without you!”
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And what happens to love as time goes on?
In time, love can only become stronger … If it wasn’t real love, then it gets worse and worse …
How do men understand marriage, and how do women?
Men and women look at marriage with completely different eyes. But where do you see real men and real women? So, first, you have to become men or a woman, and then you have to build a family.
Only a physically healthy, spiritually developed, and financially successful person has the right to start a family. Everyone else is an amateur who can’t create anything good.
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If a relationship started with sex, what is its future?
Sex must come later. And in the beginning, there must be a common view of the world. Love is not when they look at each other, but when they look in the same direction. Canadian researchers have identified four factors that make a married couple strong:
- The same worldview
- The same view of food
- Good sex
- The desire to look for each other.
And when a family is founded only because the two of them have good sex, there is nothing good in that.
Men are often compared to other men and believe that cheating is mandatory and implied…
Cheating occurs because people have made a mistake in choosing a companion. If you have married the wrong person, it is natural to fall in love with someone else.
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Which woman is not the wrong woman?
Physically healthy, spiritually developed, and financially independent. Our women have three sexual disorders: paedophilia, bestiality, masochism.
First, they take the husband to raise him – as if he were a child.
Secondly, they live with alcoholics and call it an animal.
Third, they suffer from masochism – they like to be abused by their husbands.
If a woman is physically healthy, financially independent, but not young? Is there a chance she will be a good wife?
She definitely has a chance. It’s a woman at her peak. She doesn’t need a side dish. She’s looking for a steak! Women between the ages of 45 and 50 are best at sex.
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How to find the right person for yourself?
Communication, gestures, way of dressing. There are several stages to seeing the person standing in front of you. If you don’t like what you see – pick yourself up and go!
Should partners have the same sexual appetite?
Of course! If a man needs sex for 50 minutes, three times a day, and a woman for three minutes once a month – the marriage will not succeed!
Can a woman re-educate or adapt a man to herself?
Not. If you want to marry a man, take the finished product, not the semi-finished product. Mature people should get married. And you can re-educate only one person – yourself.
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Where is the best place to find a person for marriage?
Just at work. When you observe a person at work, you see how he thinks, acts in crisis and relaxed situations. There are all liars in cafes and at night.
Have the needs of women changed lately?
They have not changed in the last hundred thousand years.
But what about the fact that women today want to marry richly?
And rightly so. It means they are maturing. But she must also be rich. In our country, unfortunately, most women have the psychology of a latent prostitute: find a rich husband to support you.
But we also have a lot of men that we can call a latent gig that is looking for a rich woman but just doesn’t want to admit it or develop.
There is a theory that you should support a man, inspire him, please him and stay in his shadow …
A real man does not need inspiration. He is inspired by his work. And one should not live for others and for the sake of others.
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And because of the children?
Especially not living for children! Children in our lives are short-lived. They leave us between the ages of 18 and 26.
The man and the woman should be close and understand that the children are temporary with them. The product of their love – nothing more.
As a result of divorce, women are left with that “product of love”, while men do not want to marry a woman who already has children …
For a real man, a child from the first marriage of his future chosen one – is not a problem. Why? Because he is ready to pretend to be his beloved.
But if a woman believes that a child is the most important thing in life, she will never be happy in marriage.
Is it believed that the institution of marriage is dying out, that couples are increasingly living together but without paper and seals?
A paperless marriage is not such a bad thing. It happens that people live well in the community, and as soon as they register, the marriage falls apart.
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Why is it so?
The fact that a man wants to be free. Formal marriage holds him back. Paper does not change anything for an intelligent person. And for a fool, he changes everything.